With Apologies, Nessie

At 4.30pm today Ralph Lewis makes a heartfelt apology to Nessie:

With Apologies, Nessie is an improvised conversation between what is probably the Loch Ness monster (as portrayed by a live broadcasting hydrophone (underwater microphone)) and speaker at the edge of a pond. Clearly, the speaker has been an irresponsible oaf and is dealing with the fall out of his thoughtlessness regarding their mutual plans. Will Nessie forgive him? Only tide will tell.